4/20, I don't get you.
So 420 is a real thing people celebrate. Like, grown people. Celebrities, even. Don't ask me why celebrities are smoking so much weed when they can totally afford real drugs like cocaine and butt hash. How do adults celebrate 420? I mean regular adults, not celebrity ones. Celebrities aren't real adults anyway, they're like giant rich children you want to have sex with. do adults celebrate 420 by waking up at 420 am and smoking in their bed with all their friends? That's how I celebrated 420 when I was in college and thought it was awesome that I could do shit like smoke joints in my own room for the first time. Or have boys sleep over. I had boys sleeping over all the time like boys that I wasn't even ever going to have sex with. FOR NO REASON. One time Sabrina told me she didn't like Halloween. "I thought you were my soulmate," I thought, "but now I realize that I hate you just as much as I hate everyone else." just kidding I'm still in love with her in a gay way. Anyway she says people just want to dress like sluts on Halloween and she hates it because people should just dress like sluts every day. I dressed like pee wee Herman for Halloween so I have no idea what she's talking about. I looked like a ladyboy and I'm pretty sure if I dressed like pee wee Herman every day someone would eventually perpetrate a hate crime against me. Anyway that's how I feel about 420. The only people who get excited about smoking weed on that day are people who smoke weed EVERY day. Do they have a day for smoking cigarettes? I really miss those guys. I don't smoke weed anymore. Or whatever the fuck people are even calling it these days. I don't need to smoke because I'm like perpetually stoned feeling. I can sit on a couch and feel totally awkward and weird for days. It's like, my natural state. If I'm going to ingest something psychotropic it's going to be something to make me LESS introspective and creepy.