Susan G Komen can S my D.
The Susan G Komen foundation no longer supports planned parenthood, which is weird, but good for me because I always senselessly hated that fucking foundation, and now I know why. The SGK foundation is the breast cancer foundation that invented the pink ribbon and then sued anybody else who tried to use it. Because its their intellectual property or whatever, although I don't know what's so intellectual about using a symbol that's already used for all kinds of other shit but making it the color of vaginas and cotton candy. It's also the foundation for which you can walk around a high school track for three days straight if you can raise enough money I think you have to raise like a thousand dollars. That shit aggravates the fuck out of me. No, I'm not going to give you money so you can perform some idiotic activity for fucking charity. If I wanted to donate money to charity I would just do it, I'm not going to wait for some idiot to approach me with a fucking spreadsheet and an envelope. Who are these fucking idiots that are so into wasting their time and annoying their friends.
Also, those fucking pink ribbons. Why are they always on the worst shit ever. No I don't want to eat a fucking yoplait yogurt for the cure. Just the idea of yoplait yogurt makes me feel irate and insulted and I'm not even totally sure why. Probably because of their stupid ass marketing strategy of ZOMG, SHOES, CHOCOLATE, DIETING! I also don't want a stupid Estée Lauder bronzer with a pink ribbon mosaic-ed into it. I'm probably more likely to actually NOT buy something with a pink ribbon on it even if it's something I want and need. Like, ew there's a pink ribbon on it, do they have a different brand, oh they but it costs more? That's ok, I'll pay extra to not have to look at a pink ribbon. This is kind of like how as soon as I heard they were making a movie out of The Road I rushed out and bought it right away because I was horrified by the prospect of waiting and being forced to buy a copy with Viggo Mortenson on the cover. Like when I gave away my copy of The Rules of Attraction to a friend and he was like "oh, didn't you like it" and I'm like "no it was great, but there's a picture of Shannon Sossamon on it, please take it away from here." just kidding that never happened, I bought that book way before that horrible movie came out, but can you imagine, Shannon Sossamon? Or however you spell it.
Anyway, can you believe the Susan G Komen foundation? What a bunch of dicks! They should rename themselves the Susan G Komen for rich people who don't have to rely on planned parenthood for healthcare since our government hates wome foundation.