Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Black Friday

I'm not going to talk about how much I hate thanksgiving like I usually do because I only blog like four times a year now and what if I die young and my kid has to learn about me from this blog, I don't want her thinking I was 25% about thanksgiving, right? I mean there is so much more to me than hating thanksgiving. I hate SO many other things. For example black Friday. Has black friday always been a thing? I feel like black Friday is one of those things I had never heard of before and then suddenly one day everybody was talking about it and I was like "oh yeah of course" while I googled it under the table all fast so nobody would find out what a fraud I am. If you somehow don't know what black Friday is, like if you're an alien from the future trying to learn about American civilization through this blog or something, black Friday is basically organized looting. Millions of people stampede big box stores in the middle of the night but then instead of stealing shit they actually pay for it, it makes no sense. They supposedly do it for the deep discounts which are only slightly less deep for the whole rest of the month so that part also makes no sense plus shit is also pretty cheap online that day but I guess there are people, like, alot of them, that would rather stand in a line outside best buy at two in the morning and face the actual possibility of being trampled to death. God. This is totally the time of year where I spend a whole month wondering if I have anything in common with anyone else alive.

Friday, November 02, 2012

What's the Word, Bird?

I just saw a sign on the subway that said abortion and rape are wrong for the same reason. Does that even make any sense? I'm scared to think about it too hard so you're going to have to let me know. Ah shit, I thought about it.

Abortion and rape are the same because society can't reach a consensus as to the personhood of the victims.

Why cant I stop thinking ever. I wish I was a bird. Maybe if I'm a very good girl santa will turn me into one.

Whats going on with rape these days anyway? I only ever hear about it in the context of abortion.

If rape and abortion are the same how come there are no anti rape crusaders lining up outside courthouses to harrass and intimidte rapists as they arrive for their hearings? Conservatives dont give a shit about women getting raped, or children getting raped, or even zygotes getting aborted, probably. Wake up voters, youre being manipulated. Shit. I'm being manipulated too. LET'S ALL STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. Lets all scrunch our eyes shut as tightly as we can and ask Jesus to turn us into birds.
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