Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Don't Worry, There's Enough Legitimate Rape To Go Around

Todd Akin, man. This dude thinks the female uterus can identify a rape baby and like expel it. Do all republicans think this? PROBABLY, which it's like, oh now I understand why they want to take away all my rights, they are probably scared to death of women and their MAGIC FUCKING POWERS, holy shit. Do you think When Todd Akin saw Like Water for Chocolate he thought it was real? I don't know why everybody's so mad at him, I think he's fucking adorable. I used to think shit like that all the time when I was a little kid, for example I used to try to get from the light switch to my bed in the time between me hitting the light switch and the light going off, AKA NO TIME AT ALL, I THOUGHT I COULD POSSIBLY MOVE FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT BASED ON SOME MUHAMMAD ALI QUOTE I'D READ. What a fucking idiot I was, but that's totally cute, yeah? That Todd Akin still thinks like this is SO PRECIOUS. What really bothers me is Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan or whichever of those dickheads felt the need to clarify that the current GOP candidates don't agree with Akin. I mean it's great that they sort of know science or whatever, like to the extent that someone who believes life begins at conception can "know science,"but they still don't want women to have any rights so who really cares how much rudimentary science they know? They're pretty much like we know you can get pregnant from rape, we just don't care. Mittens Romney, you are such a dick! Seriously. A bigger dick than that dummy Todd Akins who actually believes we live in a world where no one gets raped and pregnant.
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