I'm Going To tell it to You like it is
I went to church with my mother in law. Catholic church. And I didn't even burst into flames. Is that what you were thinking? YOU WENT TO CHURCH AND WERENT STRUCK DOWN BY JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR? If you're catholic you were probably thinking that because thats what my two catholic friends said to me, "you walked into church and didn't burst into flames???" uh, no, the ghosts that you believe run shit did not throw fireballs down at me from outer space as I walked into your stupid church. It's weird to realize you have friends who think you're some kind of monster just because you believe in science, and not, like, talking snakes and people rising from the dead. People are fucking rude.
Anyway. Catholics. I don't get them. I'm not talking about the fact that they believe all their dead relatives are currently residing in the sky wearing white gowns, although I don't get that either, I'm talking about the fact that most of the Catholics I know will try to convince me that it's not a bigoted and misogynistic religion, which, sorry, it totally is. Sorry Catholics, you don't get to individually decide what Catholicism is, the pope gets to decide that, because he is the vessel on earth that god speaks through or something, and if you're not down with that than I'm pretty sure you're just a regular Christian, or maybe just "spiritual" whatever that even means. You know what, if I was living in 1938 or whatever and tried to tell people my hitler's youth group chapter wasn't all about ethnic cleansing people would think I was crazy. "not all of hitlers youth hate jews, *eyeroll* its really great for fostering a sense of community." HAH. Guess what Catholic bitches, YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARR FUCKING CRAZY. You can bitch about Rush Limbaugh all day but you keep donating money to and claiming membership of an organization that seeks to strip you of your reproductive rights, way to support the patriarchy, dudes.
No I did not burst into flames when I walked into the church, I have fucking integrity and don't support morally reprehensible institutions whose tenets defy my own values. Did you? Fucking hypocrite.