Tuesday, January 17, 2012

On Beauty

That's a Zadie Smith book, right? On Beauty? Maybe she'll sue me. Anyway. Here's what I didn't like about the first four chapters of The Hunger Games. I read the whole thing but I can only talk about the first four chapters because that's how much I was supposed to read for my book club. I completely suck at being in a book club. Anyway. Katniss. That's the main character, she's 16 and she's named after a post apocalyptic potato. She's a super badass: clever, calculating, good with weapons, pretty fucking stoic, blah blah blah. Kind of like Lisbeth Salander. She's also pretty terrible looking, but only because she doesn't give a shit. Uh, again. Kind of like Lisbeth. When her mom makes her take a bath and put on a dress she is breathtakingly stunning, which is good, because eventually she's going to realize she's not as tough as she thought and totally needs a man, and what kind of man wants a ugly chick, am I right? I mean I'm just guessing, I don't really know what's going to happen by the end of the series, but yeah, that's totally what's going to happen. Anyway that is fucking annoying as shit. Why can't she just be ugly. Or hot. Can't she just be fucking hot and know it? No, she can't. You have to BE hot but you're not supposed to put forth effort or even KNOW about it. Ya heard? Be naturally hot but have no idea, and don't do anything lame like give a shit. Be super skinny while eating a block of cheese! Have beautiful skin and when someone asks if you're wearing makeup say EW OF COURSE NOT, WHO HAS THE TIME? You know what else, I don't even know how to be beautiful because I don't even know what beautiful is. Remember in 2008 or whenever when everybody was hating on Hilary Clinton for being such an ugly dog (Buzz's girlfriend. Woof!) but then they all thought Sarah Palin was attractive? I might be insane but I'm pretty sure Hilary isn't any worse looking than Sarah fucking Palin. You guys, the media is tricking is and I no longer know if I'm pretty. Or I'm pretending I don't.
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