Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Blogging on the Metra

How come they tint the windows green on here, is it so that when I look out of the window on this train I can feel like a visitor from another era? Probably not, probably this kind of window is cheaper. There is a baby on here and he keeps making bored noises and ikeep turning around and looking at him, he's with his dad. His dad probably thinks I'm hating on babies or something but actually I'm thinking about how if this train ripped a hole in time and we ended up stranded in a different dimension I could breastfeed that baby and I would be a hero.

So I have a baby now, she is awesome, she likes dancing and jokes. She has better jokes than I have and she doesn't even have any words, so that sucks for me, being less funny than a baby who can't even talk.

Nobody wants to hear about a baby, people hate babies, and they hate mothers even more. Isn't that fucked up? It's pretty fucked up. Now that I'm a mother I know that I will probably get killed by a serial murderer who hates all mothers because his used to make him tape his dick to his leg as a child or something. This is what I've learned for watching law and order. If you're a mother, somebody is going to kill you, and it's either your husband, your husbands girlfriend, your daughter, or some random psycho. Also though if you are a mother you can become imbued with the strength of a bear, this is something else I've learned from television, and from Sarah Palin.
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