Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It's Cold

I guess it's cold outside now. I don't know, I don't think its that cold, I'm not wearing a scarf and that's how I tell if it's cold or not, but I guess for some people it's cold, and they are complaining about it on Facebook. PUSSIES. Kind of dumb, use of the word pussy there, since I'm pretty sure pussies are super strong muscles that are best known for getting all ripped up during childbirth, where as if you kick a man in the dick he will roll around on the floor for three hours crying, so maybe I should have said DICKS, but whatever, I'm just using the misogynistic lexicon I was handed. What was I talking about? PUSSIES. I truly hate people who complain about the weather. ON FACEBOOK. I can't even think of anything more boring. It's like, if you're outside in the freezing cold updating Facebook on your phone you should probably just put your phone away and put your hands in your fucking pockets and you'll be a lot warmer. Idiot. If you're inside I don't know why you're complaining, you're inside, isn't it warm in there? I personally love cold weather. Nobody sweats and everybody smells good all the time, and my hair looks really good for four consecutive months. Also snow. Snow is awesome and beautiful, and it makes everything really soft so you can throw yourself on the ground and not get hurt. It's like having mattresses everywhere. I guess not everyone gets a excited about throwing themselves around like a small child as I do. Which I guess is fine, but why would you brag about it? People who don't like seasons are boring. They don't want change, or to be uncomfortable. They're like adult versions of those kids that refuse to eat anything but buttered noodles.
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