Thursday, September 01, 2011

It is so humid I need a snorkel to walk down the fucking street

FUCK THIS BULLSHIT. It is so motherfucking hot right now. And of course it's delightfully cold in my office because I like it to be under sixty in the summer and over seventy in the winter  (this is why I love being an American) which is why I  so I feel like I just walked into an oven. Can't decide if I should make a Jew joke or a gas line suicide joke here. Decisions, decisions. 
I don't think I'm going to the lakehouse this weekend because Dave is getting a puppy and he wants to leave at like seven in the morning to pick it up. FUCK THAT. He's getting a puppy that looks just like my dead dog Miette, the only dog I ever loved or will love. After Miette died I was super sad until I got a new dog, and that is when I realized that dog love is TOTALLY FALSE because when your dog dies you can just replace it. I can't wait to replace the dog I have now with one that doesn't smell like rotting entrails. I also can't wait to get home, turn the AC down to 55 degrees, and wrap myself up in a giant blanket. 
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