Thursday, September 15, 2011

If you build it...

Was that a proper use of an ellipse up there in the title? There's an attorney at my work that uses ellipses all the time. Like his email will end like this "Thanks..."

THAT SHIT MAKES NO SENSE. Is that an ominous thanks? A skeptical thanks? What is he leaving out behind the dot dot dot? SO MYSTERIOUS. How does one get through law school doing that? If I had signed an email like that when I was in grad school my professors would have been like "WhereTF did you learn that, never end an email like that again lest someone think you learned it here." That shit probably flies in law school because all law school is is a fancy trade school that's hella expensive. Sorry lawyers of the world, academia is looking down on you.

That's not what I was going to talk about. I was going to talk about how I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I'm sorry. Really, I am. I'm writing a novel. Dont laugh, it's going to be good. I know other people can write a novel and still blog at the same time, but I am at least three times lazier than those people. I've already failed out of college once, dropped out of a PhD program, and quit a whole career. It's a miracle I haven't gotten tired of my baby and dropped her off at a firehouse so I can get back to laying around and fucking off full time.

Anyway, I've finished the first chapter of my novel. If you want to know if it's good you can ask Sabrina because she's read it. I'm writing a novel because one time when we were in a fight my husband was like "...And you're never even going to write a book." I guess if it ever gets published I can dedicate it "To Luke. I wrote a book." Everything I do I do in order to beat someone else in a fight they don't even probably remember having.

Anyway, I'm remembering to blog today because Sabrina passed along some sage advice from Tony Robbins. Basically I set my phone so that it would scream at me to blog and now I am doing it. Thank god that we are living in the future and m phone is practically a pocket sized version of Rosie from the Jetsons.
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