Wednesday, August 03, 2011


Holy shit I am so good at interventions. Not really. He wouldn't let me in like I thought, and it turns out I am NOT strong enough to kick a door down, plus he lives in a third floor walk up and it was so fucking hot at the top of the stairs I almost had a heat stroke from all the beating on the door. "Please let me in I am going to suffer heat stroke and fall down the stairs and die and my child will have to grow up with no mother! Please! Think of the children!" I can never stop the jokes, even in a crisis situation. Especially in a crisis situation. Remember in Who Framed Roger Rabbit how if you knocked out "shave and a haircut" Roger was like compelled by god himself to pop out and sing "TWOOOO BIIIIITS!" that didn't work in this scenario, I tried it. What. Nothing else was working. The I went and had a Gatorade with the Costa Rican landlord who doesn't speak English. Then the landlord banged on the door. Then he texted me (my friend, not the landlord) and said he was at his mom's. I was pretty sure that was a lieheI mean it makes no sense that he would text me from his mom's, the only reason for him to be texting me was to get me to leave and stop causing an insane scene at his apartment. "are you sure? I can hear you in there. I'm loitering outside your apartment like a true creep." So I called his mom and She came and got him and wr all got to live to see another day. INTERVENTION SUCCESS! What a pain in the ass though. Is it appropriate to bring that up later? "hey remember when your bizzaro behaviour caused me to hunt you down like a true stalker? You turned me into my own ex boyfriend from 2005! Kind of a dick move, dude."
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