Thursday, August 11, 2011

Cheating

Let's talk about cheating all week. Mandy wrote three awesome posts on what it's like to be the other woman. I know, our little Mandy, who would have ever thought. Read them in order, verbsandruins.com. Did you read them? Sounds terrible, right? Being the other woman? I don't need to be the only woman, but I want to at least be the main one. That's all that really matters to me. I don't want a dude taking some other chicks phone calls in my presence. My colossal ego wouldn't be able to handle it. I never got it like on The Sopranos how Carmela would get so pissed about Tony having girlfriends. I mean, she was the main one and he was never going to leave her. If the dude I married wanted to have a girlfriend I would take advantage of that free time to seduce a 23 year old or start training for an adventure race finally. Maybe I would learn how to fucking paint. When you're the other woman I imagine you'd have no free time because you would always be waiting to drop everything for the dude at any moment, like if his main lady decided to go to a movie he might call you and be like "I'm coming over now! I've only got two hours!" I would get tired of that really quickly. Sorry dude, you're not coming over now, I'm watching Damages. I'd be a terrible mistress. I'm also not delusional enough. I feel like the other woman always thinks her and her asshole cheater dude have something special. Haha, gurrrl, you so crazy. All you've got is an asshole dude with a crush on you. Crushes ain't shit. I've had a crush on a homeless guy before, I'm serious. Anyway, Its always the mistress that gets fucked in the end, right? She could even end up dead (Match Point). Affairs are like teenage suicide man, don't do it.
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