Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hey, does anybody want to see some dick pictures?

If anybody wants to see dick pics I'll give you dick pics. Does any girl actually want to see dick pics though? I mean, I do, like when guys send them to my friends and I'm like hahahahahah FWD, PLZ! But does anyone actually want to receive them from an actual dude? Sabrina forwarded me a dick pic yesterday, it was the culmination of a series of increasingly insane emails in which this dude called her a phantom, an Internet sensation, his wife, and his ex wife. He also told her she'd better bring the fried chicken AND the sides! I don't even know exactly what that means, but I'm going to add it to my lexicon of awesome reality show phrases such as "don't threaten ME with a good time," and "you're an irk to my mind!" hey man, you better bring that fried chicken AND the sides! If this dude had a reality show I would totally watch it, SOMEONE GET THIS GUY A REALITY SHOW!
Anyway, finally he sent her a dick pic. It was like, fine, you don't want to fuck me, well here's what you're missing, BA DOW! And at that moment, if you listened very carefully, you could hear the tiny pings of a thousand emails reaching their destinations. HEY GUYS, LOOK WHAT THIS DUDE SENT ME. If you are a dude and you send a girl pictures of your wang, know that she is going to show it to everyone she encounters that day and they are all going to laugh at you. And she is also going to save a copy so that she can laugh at you later, or possibly share it with the press (Anthony Weiner or whatever your name is). Even if she pretended to think it was hot, she didn't think it was hot. Sorry, there is nothing hot about a dick outside of a sexual situation. Ok if anybody wants to see pictures of a crazy man's penis please let me know and I will figure it out for you. Also if anyone wants to disregard my advice and send me a dick pic I will be happy to post it on the Internet for the viewing pleasure of all 30 people who look at this blog.
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