Thursday, June 16, 2011

What am I doing with my life

Did I tell you I'm a paralegal? Ok, my name is Erin and I'm a paralegal. Get it, like if i was an alcoholic but worse even, because drinking is cool and having a dumb job isn't cool?I've been one for like three years and just recently started admitting it on the Internet because I am super fucking embarrased about my shitty job. I work at a foreclosure law office. Sometimes I think I would rather have sex for money thank work at my terrible job, but I don't want to be killed, and it seems like sex workers get killed a lot, so back to reality back to life, I guess. Although sometimes I'm surprised nobody has broken into our law office and started shooting people. I wouldn't really care if that happened as long as I didn't get killed, which is how much I don't like that job. If I survived a workplace massacre would I be able to claim post traumatic stress and collect disability? I say claim because I am guessing I would actually be fine afterwards and not actually traumatized. It would probably be like watching people die in a video game, except a video game full of people you already wished were dead. I'm exaggerating, I like the people I work with, if they were all killed by a deranged lunatic I would probably feel cognitive dissonance about being so filled with joy at such a terrible time.
You know what, this post is going to ruin my life because nobody that read it would probably hire me. That's fucked up. It's like ra the rugged man says in that one song: the president of the company don't care of you're dead or if you're bleeding. He doesn't! But then you are supposed to care about him not getting shot up by a crazy mortgagor or whatever. NOT. It is also bullshit that businesses want you to give then two weeks notice when you quit. Are they going to give me two weeks notice when they lay me off? Probably not. And you know what happens when I get laid off? I probably eat ramen noodles and cry for a month. But guess what happens when I quit, nothing, they get some other dummy to do my stupid job. Fucken bullshit, mang.
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