Thursday, June 02, 2011

this town needs an enema

Did I ever tell you guys that my brother in law lives with me like 40% of the time? Yeah he stays with his mom the rest of the time but I live way closer to his seasonal job so he stays at my house like three nights a week because why would he want to commute when he can stay at my house and I order food half the time and pay for it and I have netflix and he can smoke weed on my back porch all night. That sounds good, right? You should all come stay with me! I'm not being sarcastic, I love having people stay at my house. I was probably an underground railroad operator in a past life.
Anyway, this morning I wanted to use his car to pick up Dave from the train station so he could babysit my baby and I could be on time to work, but this jackass wouldn't let me use it because he felt like it was going to potentially cause HIM to be late to work, which, hello, he would be late to work every day if he wasn't living at my house because he'd have like a 3 hour commute. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people. And I was already pissed at him anyway because he told me I was white trash for eating soft serve ice-cream. You guys, he was eating SHERBET when he told me this. SHERBET. Next time that lazy motherfucker comes to my house I'm going to put an enema in his fucking chewing tobacco chaw bullshit. Yes I know an enema goes in the butt and what I am talking about is a laxative, I just like the word enema, okay? Remember Bat Dance?
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