Thursday, June 09, 2011

Smash Cake

Does anybody know what a smash cake is? I think it might be one of those things youve never heard of until you have a baby. Like vaginal ultrasounds. Anyway I just found out what a smash cake is, it's a cake for a baby to smash on it's first birthday. You know, because they don't know how to use a fork or anything so they just smash it everywhere I guess. Is this stupid? I kind of feel like this is stupid. If I just give my baby a piece of the cake everybody else is eating does that make me a lame mom? Like when she is five is she going to ask me what flavor smash cake she had at her first birthday and when I say she didn't have one will she hate me? Maybe she'll grow up to be a bleeding heart hippie five year old and she would hate me if I DID buy her a smash cake, like what a frivolous thing to do when there are so many Hungry babies in the favelas of brazil. Or, like, the slums in America for that matter. That's what I'll tell her, 'your smash cake was chocolate, and I sent it to Flint Michigan so some poor family could experience the inanity of a special cake just for their baby.' To tell you the truth, I don't even really want her eating a piece of the cake everybody else is eating, she's already fat enough.

Did you think I was serious? I'm not that fucking crazy.
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