Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Benzoyl Peroxide, FTW!

I ordered proactiv yesterday. Because even though I'm an old mom I still have hormonal breakouts all the time, WTF. You should have seen me when I was pregnant, it was fucking terrible. You know how they say when you're pregnant you get like beautiful skin and hair? That's a fucking lie. My skin and hair looked great like the ninth month when it didn't matter because I was too fat to fit through the front door, the other eight months my face looked terrible and I had to wear makeup every single day. And I was scared to wash my face with anything that might help because I didn't want to have a flipper baby. Anyway now that the baby has been out for like a year I am going to start poisoning myself with proactiv again because looks are all I care about.
Proactiv is terrible. It bleaches all your pillowcases and towels and everything. So that can't be good to have on your face. But on the other hand, Justin Beiber uses it, and that kid looks like a paradigm of health and vitality.
Anyway, I can't wait till my shitty proactiv comes in the mail. The fact that I still have terrible skin at my advanced age is probably karma for something terrible I did. I'm going to use that as a scare tactic for my daughter when she gets older. Like if she asks me if I've ever done ecstasy before or something. "yes I have, and that is why I look like this."

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