Friday, January 28, 2011

What, no pictures?

Hey errbody, imma tell you about mandy's date. My friend and yours, Miss Mandy, went on a date with a guy from okcupid. First of all this guy only has one picture in his profile. That means he is probably ugly and also boring. It's like a headshot in front of a wall of records. What the fuck is so cool about records anyway. I'll tell you what that picture means, it means 'I don't have any money but I'll be happy to talk down to you while you buy me drinks.' Actually this guy did buy Mandy drinks, a margarita, an Irish coffee and something else. I guess Mandy was so bored on this date she wanted to make herself throw up for sport. An Irish coffee and a margarita? Yikes. Later he went to her house and brought a box of triscuits. Oh wait no that was Cody (friend of mandy's, not the dude from step by step). This dude brought nothing. Oh yeah, also look what his profile says: "I'm good at expressing complex thoughts rather succinctly and in easy language." I discovered this when I used my fake okcupid account to stalk him down like a true psycho. Anyway, then he kissed her in such a weird and terrible way that even one sex partner Mandy recognized it as weird and terrible. And then later he texted her and told her she has horrible emotional problems, except he said it like this 'u r obvs emotionally disturbed.' I guess that's the succinct language he was talking about. I give mandy's date 2 stars, one for effort, one because at least he didn't use emoticons. 
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