Saturday, December 19, 2009


woah this is awesome, i should probably pay for the internet so i can do this all the time. i haven't had the internet for like two years for some reason. i guess that reason is that i am so lazy it can actually take me up to two years to motivate myself to call at&t. maybe i'll call at&t tomorrow. yeah right.

i had cleaning ladies at my house today and they broke a doorknob and tried to use a cake plate for a mop water bucket. these are ladies that clean people's houses for a living and yet they don't know the difference between a cake plate and a bucket. this is why i didn't clean my house before they came, because i knew they were going to piss me off so i wanted to get preemptive revenge on them. you know when you're little and your mom makes you clean your room before the cleaning ladies come? i'm nothing like your mom. if i had a kid i would put on that life's a gas song by t-rex and teach them how to slow dance all around the house with their dirty clothes, and drop their clothes everywhere. pardon me monsieur, may i have this dance s'il vous plait? don't worry, the cleaning lady will pick all of this up tomorrow. want to go explode marshmallows in the microwave?

now i have to go to a party where people are dressing up like adult swim characters. i thought about making a sauceman's bib and going as a sauceman's enthusiast (dip it in the sauce, DIP IT IN THE SAUCE!) but of course that idea went nowhere, which should not be surprising as we are talking about a person who will go without the internet for years to avoid making one phone call, god, i am truly amazing.
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