Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Does everyone cry when they finsh reading the road?

I totally cried when I finished reading the road but I pretty much cry every time I finish a good book because A) it's over and B) I didn't write it. Anyway this guy I used to have sex with back in the mid 00s just wrote something on facebook about how he also cried at the end of it, and I am assuming it is not because he didn't write it because I am pretty sure he is less psychotic than I am. You know what though, thank god we never read a book in the same room together, what if we both started crying, I would have to have slapped myself. Jesus Christ it's making me nervous just thinking about it. Anyway I seriously could not stop crying at the end of that book which was awesome because I was at work, and then it was even more awesome later when I started thinking about it on the train and cried some more. Anyway I didn't even know why I was crying since I thought that book had a happy ending, and now that I find out other people are crying too it is pissing me off and making me feel stupid.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Thai food

I just tried calling my boyfriend to tell him what kind of Thai food I want and it took me forty minutes to find his number in my phone because he saved it as Trisha Nash. What kind of Thai food I want is this curry soup thing with like a giant birds nest of crispy noodles on top of it. I'm supposed to he putting together ikea furniture right now but instead I am blogging on my phone. God my phone is incredible, if it told me I had to sacrifice one friend a year to it I totally would. unlike most of my closest friends my awesome phone never disappoints me. God, Ikea furniture can fucking suck a dick. I wonder if any of my neighbors have a kid that wants to put this shit together for me for forty bucks. I live in the suburbs now so I could probably knock on someones door and ask them that without them thinking I was a psycopath. Living in the suburbs is actually awesome because I'm off the blue line and only like 1 mile outside the city, but nobody knows where to find me. Plus there's a diner right by my house where I can get a hotdog wrapped in bacon and injected with cheese, who even knew such a thing existed.

I guess I should try to think of something interesting to write about tomorrow, I am boring the shit out of myself.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


woah this is awesome, i should probably pay for the internet so i can do this all the time. i haven't had the internet for like two years for some reason. i guess that reason is that i am so lazy it can actually take me up to two years to motivate myself to call at&t. maybe i'll call at&t tomorrow. yeah right.

i had cleaning ladies at my house today and they broke a doorknob and tried to use a cake plate for a mop water bucket. these are ladies that clean people's houses for a living and yet they don't know the difference between a cake plate and a bucket. this is why i didn't clean my house before they came, because i knew they were going to piss me off so i wanted to get preemptive revenge on them. you know when you're little and your mom makes you clean your room before the cleaning ladies come? i'm nothing like your mom. if i had a kid i would put on that life's a gas song by t-rex and teach them how to slow dance all around the house with their dirty clothes, and drop their clothes everywhere. pardon me monsieur, may i have this dance s'il vous plait? don't worry, the cleaning lady will pick all of this up tomorrow. want to go explode marshmallows in the microwave?

now i have to go to a party where people are dressing up like adult swim characters. i thought about making a sauceman's bib and going as a sauceman's enthusiast (dip it in the sauce, DIP IT IN THE SAUCE!) but of course that idea went nowhere, which should not be surprising as we are talking about a person who will go without the internet for years to avoid making one phone call, god, i am truly amazing.
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