Wednesday, January 07, 2009

it's a fucking valuable thing

i am reading the red eye right now, the stupidest newspaper ever. the only reason this stupid paper is even in my house is because it's free and i like to do the crossword because it is so easy it makes me feel like a goddamn genius. this paper was created for young people who are too stupid to read a real newspaper, it is like thirty pages and has articles about things like what to do if you are dating a twentysomething divorcee or where you can buy perfume for your dog. anyway today there is an article in there about kuma's, the best restaurant ever, and the new FUCKING BLAGOJEVICH BURGER which is a giant hamburger with bologna all over it ON A BUN MADE OUT OF GRILLED CHEESE SANDWHICHES. of course mandy told me about this burger yesterday which is the whole problem with newspapers, every time i read one i am like I ALREADY SAW THIS YESTERDAY, ON THE INTERNET. mandy said it was called the fucking valuable burger, which is actually a way better name than the fucking blagojevich burger. i guess when i go to kuma's this week that is what i am going to ask for. the fucking valuable burger. usually when i go there i get the goblin cock which is a giant hamburger with a giant hotdog on top of it, but does the goblin cock come on a bun made out of grilled cheese sandwhiches, NO. i have to order the most disgusting thing on the menu every time i go there, because one of the great loves of my life is eating six pounds of calamari and a hamburger with a hotdog on top of it and getting fanfare for it.
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