Sunday, July 27, 2008

sometimes i thank god i can't sing because nobody can blame me for anything


remember when i said i would never get married? HA. too bad you didn't know me before the internet was invented or we could also laugh about the times i said i would never suck a dick or smoke crack. these are the lies we all tell ourselves. here is a picture of me channeling daisy buchannon.

too bad my camera is all fucked or i could also show you a picture of me sitting in a bucket the night before telling everyone i was r kelly. twenty minutes before this picture was taken i was eating eggs benedict while sabrina wrote a note to our waiter about fucking some lady's mother.

i finally found a good use for the holy bible. later that day sabrina threw it down on some idiot's head.

here's a picture of me and mandy in the photobooth. if you wonder what me and mandy are doing in the first picture, we are impersonating bret michaels. wait, why is my drink brown in that picture? oh yeah, because we ran out of vodka in THE FIRST TWENTY MINUTES.

my brother performed the ceremony, it was five minutes long. i think i made a promise to be best friends with my boyfriend until the end of time. yeah right, everyone knows dave is my best friend until the end of time. the main thing that is gay about weddings is the music so i didn't pay for any. i mean, if we are going to listen to gay music i guess i will tell my gay friends to bring their gay records for free.

what, you didn't play small faces at your wedding? pfft. loser.
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