Tuesday, June 03, 2008

the trials and tribulations of childhood

when i was in sixth grade, alexandra refused to write her magnum opus. i didn't have to write one because i did not go to a gay ass montessori school. 'this is the stupidest assignment ever.' she said. i agreed. 'i'm glad my parents didn't sign me up for that school full of gay rods.' we sat on my porch and wrote our names in dust. i told her she should just write it. 'i'm not writing a magnum opus,' she said 'i'm eleven years old. if i write my magnum opus that means my life is over.' i smeared a dandelion against the back of my hand and wished i could find enough dandelions to smear my whole body with them, become golden. i told her not to write it. 'maybe you're not supposed to write it. maybe it's a trick.' when the day came, she had nothing to hand in. her teacher called the principal and the principal called her parents. she was adamant. they told her if she didn't do it she wouldn't graduate. she told them all she as a little kid. she told them all she didn't care if she graduated. i guess they knew she was right, because she graduated in june, in a white dress with the rest of her life ahead of her.
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