Saturday, June 07, 2008

there will be blood

daniel day lewis is a really good actor. too bad this movie was two hours and forty minutes long and boring as hell. i knew i was going to hate this movie during the first twenty minutes where there was no dialouge and absolutely nothing happened. there was dialouge later but none of it was interesting or anything, at least until the last twenty minutes of the movie when daniel day lewis started screaming BASTARD IN A BASKET over and over again. there was some more good dialouge when he is in a meeting and he tells whatever classy dude he is meeting with that he is going to track him down and slit his throat. the guy is like 'what?' it sounded exactly like what toby in the office sounds like when michael tells him things like 'i hate everything you stand for.' this dude was totally toby flenderson's vocal twin. anyway, i could have done without the whole first two hours and however many minutes before bastard in a basket started happening. that scene opened with daniel day lewis signing his name kind of like how he did in hte beginning but in this scene he totally had drunk old man handwriting, which is our first clue he has gone totally batshit insane. (i'm going to ruin the movie now so stop reading if you want to be disappointed fresh when you watch it.) he says a bunch of horrible things to his grown up deaf son, except he says them through an interpreter because he is such an idiot he never learned sign language. if i was the son i would have shut my eyes and been like AHHGHGHGHHH, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU DAD??? i would have said it out loud in my fucked up deaf person voice. you would think being a giant douche like that would be pretty satisfying to daniel day lewis but i guess it wasn't because then ten minutes later he wakes up passed out in a lane in his personal bowling alley room. then he slams a jug of vodka. then he has a fit of retard strength and starts throwing bowling balls everywhere and then the movie is over.

i am probably the only person in the free world that did not love this movie. sometimes i wonder if people actually like movies like this or if they just like them because they know they are supposed to. the last scene in this movie reminded me of the shining.

this bowling alley looks like it might be located in the basement of the overlook hotel. they should have had thrown jack torrence in there in the end. jack and daniel could have thrown bowling balls and axes at each other until one of them was dead. they could have had a contest over who could scream 'i drink your milkshake' better. 'I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!' 'NO I DIRNK YOUR MILKSHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKE!!!'
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