Sunday, April 06, 2008

fuck you cta

i am going to start riding my bike to work again THANK GOD. i absolutely hate taking the train to work in the morning. if you want to see the biggest douchebags in your life they are all on the blue line at 7am. except then after you start riding your bike for a while you realize all the other douchebags who are not on the train are riding their stupid bikes down milwaukee, oh well, my bike is faster SEE YOU LATER DOUCHEBAGGERS. then they catch up to you at the stoplights and are like HEY, THAT'S A BOYS BIKE. i can't wait for the first person of the year to tell me that i am riding a boys bike. OH REALLY IS THIS A BOYS BIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW. too bad my bike is the best one on the fucking road. i will show you a picture of it, the best bike on the planet, better than your bike.

it's the one on the right. what a great picture. that boombox represents beautiful roommate compromise, it is for listening to baseball games in the spring because i can not tolerate them on tv. the bike on the left is the guest bike. also please note how i tied my tree up with plastic bags because i am too poor to afford twine. the city of chicago is trying to outlaw plastic bags i read it in the reader. why anybody would want to outlaw something that has infinity number of uses, i have no idea. probably what the city should actually outlaw is the reader. like i really need to read another article about some stupid hipster lady that paints pictures of her stupid pug dog. a plastic bag is infintely more useful to me than that stupid newspaper. what am i supposed to suffocate my baby with, my bare hands?

wow, that is a magnificent bike, i think i would like to have sex with it.

something else i would like to have sex with is this fucking burger, too bad i ate it. A HAMBURGER WITH A FUCKING HOTDOG ON TOP OF IT. i am gay for that burger. the whole time i was eating it i kept saying shit like THIS FUCKING BURGER IS GOD DAMN AMAZING. THE RATIO OF HOTDOG TO HAMBURGER, OH MY GOD. something else that is fucking amazing is this window display of jesus on crutches that me and mandy found on the way home from kuma's.
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