Thursday, March 06, 2008

okay so i finished the bell jar

i had to finish it today because it drives me insane to read two books at the same time and if i went insane WHILE reading the bell jar, oh my god, i would be such a loser.

i am letting you know i am going to sum up the bell jar now so if you haven't read it yet stop reading this before i spoil it for you.

1. the first third of this book is an in general waste of time, the heroine attends all these dazzling events or whatever and basically feels blase about everything.

2. this douchebag tries to rape her.

3. she goes insane like right after that. she throws all her clothes out of the window and spends the rest of the book wearing the same outfit and not taking a shower.

4. she thinks about killing herself for like 60 pages but doesn't do it. this part drove me insane because it was boring and even though i knew she was not actually going to die i was still hoping she would. you know that poem, also by sylvia plath, about how all suicide methods are worthless? razors pain you rivers are damp acids stain you drugs cause cramps guns aren't lawful nooses give gas smells awful might as well live? i think i'm going to rip those 60 pages out of the book and staple that poem in there so the next person who reads it doesn't have to waste all that time getting the point. the point being that seriously depressed people are too apathetic to even end their own lives. i wonder if i should become a murderous psychiatrist and start euthenizing all those types. it is annoying enough that they exist, why do they all think they should be writing books?

5. she finally takes a bunch of pills but she doesn't even die.

6. then she goes to a bunch of different doctors and thinks about how shitty everything in the world is, this is like sixty more pages.

7. here is where the book takes a turn for the even worse. SHE DISCOVERS BIRTH CONTROL, BECOMES A SLUT, AND SUDDENLY IS NO LONGER MENTALLY ILL. what the eff.

if i knew i was signing on to read a book about a girl going crazy because the patriarchy is keeping her down i would have just read the yellow wall paper again.
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