Tuesday, February 26, 2008

stuff white people like.

white people love imaginary constructs. like credit. i don't even know what credit is but i'm pretty sure it is not actually real. yesterday i told my mom i didn't care about my credit because i am never going to buy a house. actually i told her twice. i think she misheard me the first time because she looked at me like i said i like to fuck dogs. apparently i am supposed to care about this credit thing, because if i care about it enough i can get more imaginary credit and then i can use it to do other imaginary things, like pretending to own real estate. real estate is what they call it when you pretend to own land. i guess they put the word real in there to distract you from the fact that this is all going on in your own imagination. if you aren't pretending to own real estate white people will tell you that you are throwing your money away. throwing it away!

i am going to rent a crappy apartment until the day i die. probably this one. i will probably stay in this crappy apartment until the day i die. right now i pay $500 a month aka $6000 a year to sleep and eat in this crappy apartment. i guess that means that over the next thirty years i am going to spend $180k on sleeping and eating at this place. maybe i should make that $300k because i guess my rent is probably going to go up 10 times in the next thirty years. alot of people are not cool with paying $300k to sleep and eat at a place because they think they might as well own the damn place for that much. i think people pretty much all think it is their manifest destiny to own everything in sight. seriously, if you don't own a lot of things you might as well start fucking dogs because that is how people are going to look at you. like a dog fucker.

i don't think alot of people even understand the concept of credit though. i mean i don't even believe in credit, but as far as i can tell, it is kind of like the bank raping you in the mouth. like say you buy a house for $300k and you get to pay it for 30 years at 10% interest. 10% interest basically means you pay the bank 10% of 300k for thirty years. in case you don't know what 10% of 300k is, it is THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. aka $2500 a month. so if your stupid mortgage payment is 3k a month then you get to pay $36,000 that year and then the next year you owe $294,000. sorry if this is boring for you guys but pretty much you end up paying like a million dollars for your stupid bungalow in the suburbs. i don't know if you ever read that book 'how much is a million' when you were a kid, but it is A REAL FUCKING LOT.

sorry this was the most boring blog post ever, it is dedicated to my mom and also white people everywhere, so you can blame them.
Listed on BlogShares