Tuesday, February 19, 2008

dave does not sell yayo (but he probably would if he was less apathetic)

my roommate's (dave's) friend whitey i guess told everyone this weekend that dave sells coke so now dave is punishing whitey by shunning him. i am shunning him too because i love my roommate in a sick fourth grader way where i can't like anyone that he doesn't like. the most hilarious part of this whole episode is the idea of dave selling cocaine. DAVE WEARS CARDIGAN SWEATERS AND HIS FAVORITE WORD IS LOVELY. dude, he doesn't even have a phone. too bad if dave tried selling cocaine he would accidentally do it all. and then if any was left over he would give it to me and i would probably have to sell it, and i would have to start paying him an allowance. he would probalby use his allowance to buy more lovely cardigan sweaters at the thrift store. haha yeah right 'i would sell it,' i would also accidentally do it all. we would both accidentally do it all and then we would have a four hour conversation about whether or not the life aquatic was totally gay. HEY! LET'S DO BLOW AND TALK ABOUT HOW OUR DADS DIDN'T LOVE US ENOUGH!

god, i wish someone would tell all my friends i was selling blow. no crack. i wish someone would tell all my friends i was cooking up crack in my apartment and selling it on the streets. ON THE STREETS! then they could do an intervention on me. hopefully there would be snacks at the intervention and hopefully at least one person would call me a chicken head. i would totally blog about it.
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