Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i love working downtown

today i got to witness a big black christian lady trying to save a beggar. seriously this beggar is a fucking harpy, i am seriously scared of this lady in the way that people are scared of demons. she screams at me like a dag banshee every day. does she scream at anybody else, no, and she looks like the fucking keeper of the shards in the dark crystal.

woah check out the nips on the shard keeper, way to go jim henson.

my roommate actually gives this lady money and thinks it is hilarious how much she hates me. too bad he is going to feel like a fucking douche when she murders me and sucks the soul out of me with a straw. i think when he gets home i am going to suggest that he tape a picture of me onto a dollar for her so she can lose her fucking mind. this is what happens when you don't bring your kids to church, they grow up thinking it is hilarious to torment people with severe mental illness.

anyway this giant missionary lady was telling the beggar about jesus today. she was talking really low but she was all up in this harpy's face. except the harpy like threw herself to the ground and refused to look at this lady and was screaming I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU.

i guess that was the most intense thing i saw all day. i can't wait until somebody tries saving me so i can do the exact same thing. i was waiting for the fat christian lady to start flinging holy water onto her. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU. now i kind of want to buy that harpy a hot dog, too bad if i tried getting close enough to give it to her she would probably tear my arm off.
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