dreams.
this weekend i finally fulfilled my dream of doing blow off my own flask with a bunch of rockstars while they tell me how pretty my hair is. i have always had strange dreams. when i was little my ultimate dream was throwing the boy i liked in an eighteen foot pit and feeding him swiss cheese for the rest of our lives. that is true love man, when you want to throw someone in a hole. he's dead now so i guess that dream almost came true.
speaking of true love i learned something new today and that is that i have an entire demographic in true love with me. DIRTY BIKE KIDS. it is not because i am so stunning it is because my bike is so stunning. my bike is like infinitely prettier than me. anyway a dude FOLLOWED ME TO WORK today. i actually asked him if he was following me because i thought maybe he was going to rape me because i read a really graphic article about gangrape this weekend and now me and my vagina are going to be terrified of life for the next five days. anyway he actually was like YES I AM FOLLOWING YOU and he said he liked watching me BECAUSE I RIDE MY BIKE LIKE I HAVE A DEATHWISH. i told him i don't have a deathwish but i don't have like a lifewish either.
speaking of true love i learned something new today and that is that i have an entire demographic in true love with me. DIRTY BIKE KIDS. it is not because i am so stunning it is because my bike is so stunning. my bike is like infinitely prettier than me. anyway a dude FOLLOWED ME TO WORK today. i actually asked him if he was following me because i thought maybe he was going to rape me because i read a really graphic article about gangrape this weekend and now me and my vagina are going to be terrified of life for the next five days. anyway he actually was like YES I AM FOLLOWING YOU and he said he liked watching me BECAUSE I RIDE MY BIKE LIKE I HAVE A DEATHWISH. i told him i don't have a deathwish but i don't have like a lifewish either.