Friday, November 30, 2007

workin' on it. workin' on it.

i got a new desk at my job. like in an office instead of a cubicle and i have a giant window which is awesome but now i also have my back to a door and so i'm probably going to get shot to death at work or something. seriously i work at a foreclosure law office i probably really will get shot to death. too bad i guess i love wndows more than i love being alive. i guess i am also going to start carrying aces and eights around all day so after i die from getting shot in the back people can compare me to wild bill hickock. that is really all i want out of life. to look out of windows and be in general reminiscent of wild bill. i feel bad for the other people in the office with me because i pretty much sit there all day and am like 'HEY LOOK AT THAT LITTLE HOUSE ON TOP OF THAT ROOF, I AM PRETENDING I LIVE IN THAT HOUSE. YOU GUYS I CAN SEE INTO SOME GUYS OFFICE ACROSS THE STREET AND HE HAS TONS OF LIQUOR IN THERE.' the downside to having a new desk is that i don't sit across from the punk rock attorney anymore because i really loved sitting across from that guy and watching him change his clothes ten thousand times a day. seriously this guy shows up in the morning in entire outfits held together by safety pins and then he puts on a suit and goes to court and then he changes back into the safety pins and then he changes into a suit and goes to court again. he seriously changes his clothes every twentyfive minutes. god this guy probably hates himself. the other day he was wearing some kind of dirty ass sweatshirt with some anarchy shit pinned to it. i can't wait to ask him how it is even possible to be a lawyer and also an anarchist at the same time. i am going to ask him when i am drunk as fuck at the christmas party so that it hurts less when he punches me in the face. also the great thing about my desk is that nobody else wanted to sit there because the guy that used to sit there threw himself out of the window one day and everybody is scared of his ghost or something. i don't even care. maybe he will show up at night and finish all my work i left out. they painted the window shut but i guess i could still become possessed with the bad ju ju of the desk and throw myself through the glass. except i would probably bounce back into the office. oh my god that would be the most hilarious thing ever. FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SHOWS LACK OF PRAGMATISM; AFFECTS PERFORMANCE REVIEW.
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