Wednesday, November 07, 2007

something really hilarious happened to me today, I PEED MY PANTS AT WORK. oh, i pee my pants all the time now, but not usually at work. peeing your pants all the time is awesome especially when you don't even have sensations like knowing you have to pee or knowing pee is coming out and suddenly you are covered in pee and you don't know where it came from. probably it is like when your water breaks but instead of being like OH MY GOD HEY EVERYONE THE MIRACLE OF LIFE IS ABOUT TO SPRING FROM MY LOINS you have to back out of the room all stealth and hope nobody notices that you PEED YOUR PANTS. anyway i peed my pants at work today on the elevator, i was going down to get lunch and when the elevator got to the first floor i just rode it right back up and threw my underwear in the tampon disposal in the bathroom and then i went to filenes basement and bought underwear and a pair of four dollar little kids jeans and walked around like john wayne with a camel toe for the whole rest of the day, so that also was awesome. good thing i am so detached from reality that i have no problem with peeing my pants everywhere. it is like i have a disease that turns me into a perpetual drunkard. hopefully somebody hooks it up on the health insurance before it is time to buy those arm things jimmy walks around on in south park.
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