Friday, November 16, 2007

actual conversation my roommate had with his actual retarded aunt:

actual retarded person. has down syndrome. yeah this lady has down syndrome and also grew up in a bar. anyway she lives with dave's mom and he's over there for her birthday and after they eat cake and watch that bee movie with jerry seinfeld (bad movie. retarded people don't like it. non-retarded people don't like it.) she calls him into the room all serious and says "should i get a gun, or should i not get a gun." because apparently some lady at the place she works at, which is one of those places where retarded people make shoelaces for a dollar an hour or whatever, anyway this other retarded lady fucked with her cake and now she wants revenge. that is what she kept saying when dave told her retarded people are not allowed to get guns. BUT HOW AM I GOING TO GET REVENGE??? HOW AM I GOING TO GET EVEN??? he's like i don't know dee, but i don't think you should get a gun. and she goes I KNOW. MAYBE I SHOULD STAB HER IN THE FACE. dude, this lady is not only going to stab a retarded chick for fucking with her birthday cake she is going to stab her IN THE FACE. anyway dave somehow talked her out of it and the whole thing ended with her deciding she is going to get the toughest ass retarded motherfucker at work to beat the cake eater's ass. oh man. IT IS LIKE THESE PEOPLE ARE IN PRISON. sometimes i seriously wish i was retarded.
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