Tuesday, October 09, 2007

dear members of the florida bar: welcome to my shitty blog

jury duty. i actually did have it that was one of the things i wrote on this blog of lies that was actually true. anyway according to the florida bar i am what is wrong with juries today or something. and i guess the solution to the problem that is me is to select out jurors who have blogs or myspace or facebook or whatever. okay i didn't write my thesis on psychometrics or anything (yes i did) but i bet if you dismissed every potential juror with some type of internet presence you would end up with range restriction galore. EVERYBODY UNDER THIRTY IS ON THE INTERNET. those are my peers. please don't shatter my dreams of commiting a horrible crime and being judged by a jury of my peers. not that the people on the jury i served on were actually my peers. THERE WAS A WOMAN ON THE JURY WHO COULD NOT READ. i don't think i've ever met anybody who couldn't read in my entire life. thank god the constitution doesn't actually guarantee a defendant that his case will be heard by a jury of his peers because that would be a huge lie. i think what it guarantees is an impartial jury which is also a huge lie. i didn't actually serve on a capital punishment case, that was a joke. i wouldn't even be allowed to serve on a capital punishment case because i don't necessarily agree with the death penalty. i've never done a study on death qualified juries but i'm pretty sure the american psychological association did and determined that they are more likely to convict in general. THAT IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF IMPARTIAL. i don't believe our legislative system is breaching our constitutional rights and a bunch of lawyers in florida are freaking out because i mentioned on my stupid blog that nobody reads that i was selected to serve on a jury and i didn't even divulge any information about the case. i mean jesus bob kelly, weren't your friends in florida executing retards until like a year ago? and you don't like me because i say "fuck" alot? this is truly a dumb ass world we are living in.
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