Sunday, October 28, 2007

and when you dream, dream big, like defying the laws of science big.

i drunkenly conceived this idea to dress up like edward scissorhands for halloween this year because i already own a pair of edward scissorhands boots and my roommate for some reason received like fourteen pairs of suspenders from his mentally retarded aunt this year. because obviously i don't have a skin tight leather jacket with a million buckles and zippers on it, although if i did i guess i would probably incorporate it into my every day attire. so i am going to be white shirt suspenders edward. plus i have horrible short hair right now so when i am tired i pretty much look like edward scissorhands anyway. so i walked to target in a hungover stupor this morning and wandered around aimlessly looking for things to make scissor hands with which ended up being a roll of electrical tape and like 13 letter openers and nail files. the cashier totally looked at me like i was a psycho killer from prison when i made that purchase. hi, i'll take a handfull of sharp instruments, some black tape, and this copy of how i stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb, thanks. sometimes i think i can not do things like make a halloween costume because i am not creative. but then i have to tell myself that i am going to have to be at least kind of creative because some of the stupidest people i know are kind of creative and i can not be worse than stupid people at anything or i will have to kill myself. i like how i am so conceited that i think i can decide to magically become creative. oh god when i was like 6 or whatever and we learned about the human body in school, i decided i was going to learn how to control my involuntary muscles so i could, like, make my own heart stop beating if i wanted to. i actually thought i could do this. and the saddest part is i still kind of think maybe i could like if i really practiced hard or something. god i am really living the american dream here, deluding myself into thinking that through sheer tenacity i can overcome the basic principles of biology. IF I CAN DREAM IT I CAN ACHEIVE IT.
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