Tuesday, September 11, 2007

happy 9/11

i wanted to leave work so bad yesterday i went to harrass dave in his office because that is what i do thirty times a day i was like GOD DAVE CAN I JUST LEAVE? I'M GOING ACROSS THE STREET AND PHONING IN A BOMB THREAT and he was like do it it's 9/10 they would probably evacuate all of downtown. when i went to community college some guy started calling in a bomb threat every tuesday for like three weeks and then he started calling one in every day and then he went to jail. it was awesome. like every time i went to school there were cops there telling me to go home. NOOOO SCHOOOOOL AT KISHHWAUUKEEEEEE!!! that is a beautiful song i made up during those glorious times. you should probably hear me sing it because even though i just went back and added and extra h it still isn't translating into writing. did you even know i went to community college? see that is inspirational. even people who fail out of real college and are forced to degrade themselves in fake college can one day get phds and become low paid legal assstants. YOU TOO COULD BECOME GROSSLY UNDERPAID. we are truly living in the land of milk and honey. i have a 9/11 joke and i will tell it to you.

KNOCK KNOCK.
and then you say who's there. and then i say
NINE ELEVEN
and then you say nine eleven who. and then i say
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!

god that joke is hilarious. i forgot all about that joke until today. i tried telling it to everybody i met at the bar like three months ago and everybody thought i was TOTALLY NOT FUNNY. unless you had to inhale burning human ashes while you ran home to escape nuclear fallout or whatever you are a fucking idiot if you do not think that is funny. so funny.

also on the real 9/11 i did not have a tv and my friend called me to tell me planes were flying into buildings and i totally did not believe her and i walked to class anyway but guess what NO CLASS. then i watched the footage at the laundermat. TOTAL CLASS. god now that i just remembered i attended community college i think it probably doomed me. i knew nobody from community college could ever succeed at life.
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