Wednesday, August 22, 2007

video killed the radio star or something

movies are stupid. i like the idea of them but do i like the reality of them NO. i guess instead of worrying about throwing people in jail for illegally downloading movies maybe the movie people should ask themselves why nobody wants to pay money to see a movie and the answer is that pretty much every movie made is not worth a dollar. and even if you did want to pay a dollar for it it is not going to be at blockbuster anyway. last time i went to blockbuster it was because i had the stellar idea of making a blanket fort and having a john waters film festival in my room except then when i got there i ended up renting jesus camp and the science of sleep because they did not have one fucking john waters movie.

i guess science of sleep was okay. until like halfway through when i realized gael garcia bernal is the stupid idiot i always end up dating. except way better looking. like where you think it is kind of cute how fucked up they are but then later they end up smashing their head against your door during a fucking mental break. except when that kind of shit happens to me i am immediately on the phone with everyone i know like OH MY GOD I THINK THE IDIOT IS COMMITTING SUICIDE IN THE FUCKING HALLWAY. HOLD ON I AM GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE THROUGH THE KEYHOLE. i spent the latter 50 minutes of that movie wondering why i have to turn my life into a giant jok all the time. probably because i am a jew.

then i went and saw 300. I ACTUALLY PAID $5 TO SEE THIS IN THE THEATER. i probably deserve to be clobbered with a rolling pin for that. i guess i shouldn't have rated the science of sleep as just okay because now i have no choice but to declare 300 the worst movie in the universe. it was like lord of the rings meets gay porn. meets a hungry man commercial. plus everyone in the movie was retarded. like when your whole war hinges on the other side not being able to penetrate your area you do not totally piss off the one dude who knows about the secret path or whatever. i have never even been in a war and even i know that. you want to know what else i know? I KNOW WHO XERXES IS BUT I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF LEONIDUS IN MY FUCKING LIFE. I WONDER WHO WINS THIS WAR. god that movie was so stupid it made me want to watch a documentary.
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