Tuesday, June 05, 2007

who the fuck is sauce money

new york was cool don't ask me what i did there because then i will tell you nothing and you will be like HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE. like when i went to paris for a month and people asked me what i did there and i was like UH I DON'T KNOW WALKED AROUND. that is truly what i did there. walked around and probably stopped somewhere and then walked around. and then got drunk and walked around. and then did shit like going to the louvre for five minutes and leaving after getting irritated at how it was interfering with my walking around. i guess i should write a book about walking around because i've done it everywhere. i guess if you want to ask me about new york you should be like HOW WAS THE WALKING AROUND? because then i could tell you the walking around was pretty good i mean i actually got a blister on top of a blister and still continued to walk around anyway unlike last time i went to new york and boycotted the walking around when my feet started bleeding.

if i was stupid enough to believe in things like past lives i would probably think i lived in new york in one of them because i somehow knew how to take the train to williamsburg by magic. like dave starts looking at this map and i'm like OH WE DON'T NEED TO LOOK AT THAT WE JUST GET ON THE 2 OR 3 AND THEN TAKE IT TO J Z P WHATEVER. and i was right i have no idea where the words were even coming from it was like god himself was speaking through me. except it was coming out in englilsh instead of aramaic and it actually made sense.

also during the walking around we got lost and ended up at some projects. are these projects or just really shitty apartments? i wondered. they were projects. is this where old dirty bastard came from? i asked that one out loud. ARE WE AT THE BROOKLYN ZOO OF WU TANG FAME??? i was very excited. but no. no we were not. the only people of reknown from these projects were jay z and someone named sauce money. i was not impressed with that visit to the projects.

i guess if i was going to rate the walking around in new york i would give it four stars. probably i would give it five stars except the walking around in times square made me want to kill myself a little bit.

i also didn't take any showers the whole time i was there which kind of made me wish i hadn't been there before so i could claim to have never taken a shower in new york. i didn't even need to take a shower because they didn't have alleys where we were at so all the garbage was on the street and everything smelled like garbage. I MAY NOT HAVE SHOWERED FOR FOUR DAYS BUT I STILL SMELL BETTER THAN THE AIR.
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