Friday, May 18, 2007

i think something is wrong with my mom because she doesn't love me unconditionally i thought when you created life inside yourself you were supposed to love it unconditionally. my dad doesn't love me unconditionally either but that's okay because now that i am no longer like his custodial property or whatever he is like WOAH THAT ANNOYING THING TURNED INTO A REAL PERSON I GUESS I CAN GO OUT AND DRINK WITH IT NOW. social workers probably shouldn't have kids anyway because they try to turn them into huge longitudinal case studies or something and then when they get their phds they can tell all their friends YES! SUCCESS! except then when they drop out of their doctoral programs they are filled with shame and berate them ever day and tell them they are going to end up on the streets. my mom doesn't have a phd either i don't know how she is not on the streets, i guess i should ask her how i too can avoid becoming destitute.

anyway i got a delightful email from her today about how i owe her money and i am basically a degenerate so i guess today is the day i am finally going to divorce my mom like i would have when i was 14 if i'd had a lawyer. the whole reason i owe her money in the first place is because i decided i didn't need car insurance anymore since my car basically sits on the street 350 days a year but i guess she didn't like that decision so she renewed it for me because even though i am like thirty years old i guess i am still incapable of acting without a guardian.

one time when i was like seven i told my mom CHILDREN COME THROUGH YOU NOT TO YOU. god that is a fucking sage maxim coming from a little kid. i guess she wasn't paying attention to my seven year old wisdom. wow if i ever had a hyper intelligent little kid i guess i would revere it as a guru instead of beating it down every chance i got.
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