Monday, April 23, 2007

what i did on my summer vacation

THINGS I DID IN NEW YORK THAT I REMEMBER:

got in a van with some guy at the airport even though that is how people get raped because the taxi line was that incredibly long and i didn't even get raped and i saved like twenty bucks or whatever.

oh yeah something else i was proud of at this point from just before i was in new york was showing up at the airport on the right day unlike when i flew to tahoe for new years and showed up at the airport one day early and was like OH FUCK CAN I JUST GET ON A PLANE PLEASE I MEAN I AM ALREADY HERE. by some miracle of god that actually worked.

got blacklisted from the bar at the hudson hotel. oh wait excuse me i actually was blacklisted from the entire hotel.

threw up behind a tree.

watched like seven episodes of some reality show called the bad girls club about ugly girls who get even drunker than i do.

went to some italian restaurant with the strangest waiters ever all of whom thought sabrina was their queen. one of them was wearing one of those stupid kabbalah bracelts, who knew people were still into that these days.

threw up in a napkin at the worst bar ever.

told a bunch of people that sabrina was a post op transvestite and i was her handler.

ate a lot of matzoh.

okay that is pretty much all that i remember.

THINGS I DID IN NEW YORK THAT I DO NOT REMEMBER.

i don't remember stealing that bike.

eating a pork chop. i hate pork chops. i have no idea why i ordered one during a drunken blackout.

calling this guy and asking him to come get me. from chicago. because i guess i forgot i was in new york and i wanted to get picked up. or else i seriously thought he was going to charter a helicopter or something. he made me listen to the voicemail when i got back and i sounded like i was seven years old.

breaking up with ray. i do not have a boyfriend named ray but joey does and i guess i called him and broke up with him. he was all upset over it or something but i thought it was pretty hilarious.

i don't know what else i don't remember you would have to ask joey because she didn't get blackout drunk every night like i did.

this is why i am not able to tell anyone how new york was because pretty much i don't remember.
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