Saturday, April 28, 2007

i stole an umbrella from a homeless person on thursday. that is pretty much the worst thing ever. i am probably going to start killing kittens next. i don't remember doing it which is i guess my body's way of telling me i am killing it with alcohol except i only had four drinks FOUR DRINKS SHOULD NOT GET A HARDENED ALCOHOLIC SUCH AS MYSELF BLACKOUT DRUNK. unless i have alcohol related dementia which i probably do. other possible explanations include demonic possession and disassociative identity disorder. anyway stealing umbrellas from people who live outside is not cool and i should probably punch myself in the throat for doing it.

then i went to the mutiny last night and paid ed the money i owed him YES I OWED MONEY TO A BAR. this is really awesome because ever since i was a little girl i have totally aspired to be cliff clavin. whatever i end up doing when i am 40 if it's anything besides living in a gutter i will be able to call it a success. then some stupid bitch can steal an umbrella from me and i can revel in the karmic splendor of the universe.
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