Monday, February 19, 2007

sabrina came into town for an emergency intervention this weekend. an emergency intervention for seth. seth is some fat guy who leaves hate comments on my blog all the time about how i am fat and stupid and i probalby want him to fuck me but he won't because i am fat and stupid and also ugly and a drunken whore.

maybe if i wasn't nearly retarded i would know that fat drunken whores aren't supposed to wear stripes. oh my god i hate myself.

anyway after a long hiatus where i obviously became immensely worried i finally heard from him and i deduced from his frenzied use of LOLZ that seth was on the verge of a mental break. so sabrina decided to fly out so we could take some pictures of ourselves being fat drunken whores for me to post on my blog so we could give seth something to live for.

the odds are good that that guy behind me probably has a headache because of something i just said to him.

i dyed my hair blond this weekend because i was so hungover i ended up at target and i forgot why so i decided it was probably for hair dye. even though i am already so stupid i kind of like being hungover because it makes me even more stupid to the point where i can't follow a mr. show skit OH MY GOD THIS PROFOUND COMEDY IS BOGGLING MY ALCOHOL SATURATED BRAIN.

probably i should start doing blow because then i can lose thirty pounds and also be way smarter. or i will think i am way smarter as if i could ever be more enamored with myself than i already am.

here's some blow i didn't do. even though i am so stupid i don't remember a lot i'm pretty sure i only do giant rails and always off the prepubescent chest of emile hirsch circa the dangerous lives of alter boys years.

anyway if i do not hear from seth soon i am going to have to assume that he has suffered a britney spears-esque breakdown. i can only hope he has a friend with the sense to lock him in a room and feed him valium until he calms the fuck down. SETH WHERE ARE YOU I MISS YOU I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WON'T FUCK ME BUT IT'S OKAY I FORGIVE YOU PLEASE RESUME LEAVING ME SEVEN COMMENTS A DAY I NEED ATTENTION THAT IS WHY I HAVE A BLOG DUH.

that is me making what sabrina calls my grossly annoyed face. if i have ever made that face while you were talking to me i was probably patronizing you.
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