Sunday, January 14, 2007

let's talk about how i may or may not be able to see some more

anyway i just noticed that i actually can see just not when i'm at work where i can't see anything and my eyeballs feel like they are going to maybe shrivel up and fall into my brain. i think this means that either i am allergic to my job or i have computer vision syndrome. i guess i should probably sue my boss and make him buy me a new monitor that doesn't make me blind. anyway this is good news because i refuse to wear glasses because not wearing glasses is part of my identity i think.

too bad when i was like four i decided i wanted glasses for reading because duh smart people put on glasses to read so i walked around squinting on purpose for like three weeks and pretending i couldn't see. finally one day we were at the zoo and after i was like MOM WHAT DOES THAT SIGN SAY I CAN'T READ IT for the forty seventh time she took me to the eye doctor who somehow could tell i was faking right away. and did i get glasses, no. nice parenting mom if i had a kid that wanted glasses so bad she walked into walls pretending to be half blind for three weeks i would get her some fake glasses stat.
how cute is it when your kid is fake vision impaired?
cute enough that they deserve fake glasses
cute enough that they deserve their eyes slapped out of their head free polls

also then when i was in seventh grade i couldn't look at anything without blinking seventeen thousand times so i went to the shitty hmo eye doctor and he made me wear glasses and they were PINK AND MADE OUT OF PLASTIC. except then i started having migraines all the time and my mom took me to the non hmo eyedoctor and he laughed and prescribed me some eyedrops because it turned out my tear ducts were all fucked from allergies or something. i should also probably sue that first eyedoctor for making me wear pink plastic glasses for four months or whatever.

okay i think three consecutive posts about glasses is probably enough for the rest of the year.
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