Monday, December 18, 2006

yes i have a fog machine in my apartment

because my dear friend scott felt that my birthday would be better with A FOG MACHINE A PROJECTOR SOME LIGHTS GIANT SPEAKERS AND A MICROPHONE. and all this shit is still here along with a fifth of a keg and four bottles of vodka and some whiskey. which is why i am drinking miller light out of a red cup in knee socks surrounded by fog right now. 3PM DANCE PARTY FUCK YEAH.

IT'S NOT A PARTY UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES A DOG. and then you find the dog running down western avenue eating garbage. IT'S NOT A PARTY UNTIL YOU GET A CHILD DRUNK AND STATUTORILY RAPE HIM IN THE ALLEY WHILE THE DOG EATS GARBAGE. and then in the morning you have to tell him HEY DON'T TELL YOUR MOM HOW YOU GOT THOSE CIGARETTE BURNS, OKAY? hahahahah i s&m-ed a 17 year old in front of forty people. oh my god i am so classy.

i am putting up a picture of an extremely intoxicated sabrina and me. in lieu of a picture of me and my youthful conquest. because i don't want to go to jail.

oh wait i'm celibate just kidding i probalby imagined that.

oh yeah also word on the street is people are saying it was THE BEST PARTY THEY HAD EVER BEEN TO. this is probably a testemant to how awesome i am. i also recieved emails today from people telling me they think they had a crush on me on saturday. BOYS AND GIRLS. yes i am the most charming person in america.
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