Tuesday, December 12, 2006

in case you like to read really bad writing

you should know that dave eggers wrote another book. i am not going to read it but i am going to tell you how bad it is because i am better at knowing what is bad then the pulitzer prize nominations commitee apparently and i don't even have to read it to know.

this looks like my fourth grade social studies book.

dave eggers new book is not going to be decent because dave eggers is a shitty writer. first of all i'm already confused about what the fuck this book even is. i mean it says it's the autobiography of valentino achak deng except i thought an autobiography was a book you wrote about yourself and as far as i can tell valentino achak deng is a real person and he is not dave eggers. also it is a fictionalized. plus apparently eggers 'took a risk by displacing deng's voice with his own highly stylized writing.' uh i don't think that is called taking a risk i think that is called not being able to write with any voice besides your own aka NOT BEING A GOOD WRITER. i'm pretty sure if i survived a 1000 mile exodus during africa's longest civil war i would not want to sit down and tell dave eggers my story so he could rewrite it with his own 'highly stylized writing.' dave eggers highly stylized writing = woah this sounds like something i would have written when i was a 14 year old whiny bitch except pretend i had a really great vocabulary. see i can say something nice about dave eggers he really does have a great vocabulary and somtimes he puts together a really good sentence. like when i was reading a heartbreaking work of the worst novel of all time there was one part where i had to stop reading so i could stare at this one sentence and think about how it might have been the most beautiful sentence ever written. too bad later when i got to the part with the mtv interview for the real world i had to rip the fucking book in half because it turned into the official worst book of all time.

jesus what is wrong with me apparently i am still one hundred percent pissed off about how bad that stupid book was and i read it like a year ago. who knew such venom was still boiling beneath the surface. probalby i should channel all of this rage into pursuing a phd in literature so i can write papers about how dave eggers sucks all day long and get paid for it.
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