Friday, November 10, 2006

zombie cat!

so this cat was dying in my yard yesterday i know because i took my dogs out and my neighbor bob comes out on his porch and is like DUDE WATCH OUT FOR THE DYING CAT. and then like eleven hours later when me and my roommate were stumbling home from the bar i'm like LET'S GO SEE IF THAT CAT IS DEAD YET. so we got down on the ground and lit lighters and nudged it and stuff and determined NO NOT DEAD.

then we went inside and opened some more beers. then i remembered i had cream still from when i made lasagna and i'm like HEY LETS GO GIVE THAT CAT SOME JOY FOR IT'S FINAL MOMENTS so we brought the cream down there and the girl who lives in the coach house came stumbling home and wondered what we were doing and dave went and got some turkey and she got some catnip and the cat started trying to walk and it fell in the cream and it started meowing all loud and the dude bob came out and we got a box and put it in a box with some sweaters and the guy from the coach house came out and we sat around and petted the cat and then we went in the coach house and drank some high lifes and then we went back home and our other neighbors showed up and we decided to put the cat box on our porch and then we decided to bring it inside and dave went to the second floor and the first floor and i put on the pixies and played with the cat and dave came home and decided to put the cat in his bed and also we named it josephine. dave slept with the lights on because according to dave it would be so easy to die in the dark. and the cat shit all over dave's bed and he had to sleep in the couch. anyway then i stayed home from work and went to target and bought the cat YELLOWFIN TUNA WITH SPRING VEGETABLES IN A DELICATE SAUCE. i am not kidding it was fancy feast. then i took the cat to this place called the treehouse which is a shelter for sick and hurt cats it is a big house and they don't even have cages the cats just run around the place. probably i will call them on monday and see if she died even though i hate cats because this one was pretty cool it was black and had all it's claws that is my fantastic cat adventure the end.
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