Monday, November 06, 2006

what in the hell is wrong with people

here is a story for you. one time i liked this guy and i was supposed to do this one thing but on the way there i stopped by possibly the lamest party in the universe and ignored him for twenty minutes and then when my ride showed up i was like 'i'm leaving come on.' anyway the moral of this story is that if i liked you i would go to the lamest party in the universe if you were going to be there and if you called me i would definitely not be like UH I CAN'T REALLY TALK RIGHT NOW I AM EATING A PUSH POP. if some girl tells you she can't talk to you because she is eating a fucking push pop you should probably not text message her the next day like 'hey can i come over someday?' no you can not come over some day. why does my cellphone not have a template for DO NOT TRY TO ADVANCE THE FRIENDSHIP, YOU WILL FAIL. except even if you told them that it would not matter because people do not believe you unless they want to believe you like when you tell someone you are busy eating push pops they actually believe ONE DAY WHEN SHE IS NOT SO BUSY EATING PUSH POPS WE WILL FALL IN LOVE. but then you tell other people shit like JUST BECAUSE WE FUCKED DOES NOT MEAN I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND and they think OBVIOUSLY SHE IS PLAYING HARD TO GET BECAUSE SHE IS IN LOVE WITH ME. or maybe they totally dissect that shit like okay so it doesn't mean she is my girlfriend but she didn't say it meant she's NOT my girlfriend. who knows what is going on in these people's heads. and then they think it is a good idea to tell you they are in love with you and you're like UH I HAVE TO GO I FORGOT I HAVE IMPORTANT CIGARETTES TO SMOKE AT HOME AND I MUST GET ON THAT RIGHT AWAY. and then they are surprised when you never talk to them again like WHAT SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY STILL BE SMOKING THOSE IMPORTANT CIGARETTES IT'S BEEN TEN DAYS and they get drunk and leave weird messages on your voicemail about how you are a bitch. and you are like dag i told you i didn't like you it is not my fault that you are delusional. and then people need to read a book called 'he's just not that into you' to be like WOAH WHEN HE TOLD ME THAT HE DIDN'T LIKE ME I THOUGHT HE MEANT HE DID LIKE ME OH MY GOD MEN ARE SO CONFUSING IT IS LIKE THEY REALLY DID COME FROM MARS I SHOULD READ THAT BOOK NEXT!!!
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