Friday, November 17, 2006

I TOLD YOU I LIKE BEING CHOKED AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT.

breaking up with someone is so fucking annoying i think that the best way to do it is start talking to them less and then at some point they are gone by magic. except then sometimes they are like FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS YOU HAVE ONLY ANSWERED THE PHONE ONCE FOR EVERY THREE TIMES I HAVE CALLED YOU. that is when you have to tell them you are breaking up with them but you can make it like that is why. WOAH YOU ARE COUNTING THE NUMBER OF TIMES I DO AND DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE PUT A FUCKING LEASH ON ME WHY DON'T YOU I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE THIS. you can't tell a person the real reason you are breaking up with them because it is probably something like BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB. that is why people say things like WE'VE GROWN APART. except you can't say that to someone you've only known for like one month so then they are like what the fuck can you please explain this to me? okay i am never going to ask someone to explain to me why they are breaking up with me because if they are like the people from my scientific poll the reason is something like this:

BECAUSE YOU DON'T CHOKE ME
because i'm bored
because it's easier to break up than start punching you
because you are not abig enough challenge to cheat on
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO OWN ME NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
because you can't keep your dick hard
because you vomited while drinking and acted like a girl about it
because you have cats/must be fag
because you want me to sleep with only you
because you got fat
because you do not spank me enough and call me a dirty whore
because i could make you cry
because you tricked me into meeting parents
because you want to close blinds while fucking when window faces brick wall
BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO MAKE LOVE TO ME
because the gap in your teeth makes me think of eddie muphy
because you are on meonyou.com
because you cannot quote single Biggie lyric
because you got scurvy
because i don't want to fuck you with a strap on
because i oftentimes have fantasies of dying of cancer when i am in your presence
BECAUSE I PRAY FOR A YEAST INFECTION WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX

sign me up to find out i'm getting broken up with because i listen to shitty music and am boring to fuck. NO THANKS.
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