Friday, October 13, 2006

the president of the company don't care if i'm dead or if i'm bleeding

things i would rather do than the job i have now.

fucking for money. i would rather have a guy attach a flashlight to his dick and fuck me until my stomach lights up like glow worm and i will wear a glow worm mask and we will do it in the middle of toys r us that would make me happier than the job i have now even if the guy weighed three hundred pounds and wore track pants.

washing dishes. i would rather wash dishes in a shitty diner in gotham nebraska and get sexually harrassed by a bunch of line cooks who smell like a walk in cooler that would make me happier than the job i have now even if i only got paid $3.16 an hour at least i could probably eat all the skillets i wanted.

retail. i would rather work at the gap and tell a bunch of girls from roscoe village who think they still weight 110 pounds that oh my god they look just like audrey hepburn in those skinny pants than work at the job i have now. even if they made me spend $200 a month at the gap so i could advertise that season of gap attire on my body i would like that more.

fear factor contestent. i would rather jerk off a rat and smear rat cum all over my face and dive into a vat of blood and bob for uncircumsized penises even though i might not even win the million dollars and nobody would ever talk to me again i would rather do that than the job i have now and maybe it would force me to reevaluate my life and i could come away from the situation a better person or some shit and wouldn't that be better?
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