Sunday, September 24, 2006

why do i act like i am eleven years old around my parents i have no idea

my parents came over yesterday to make sure i was still alive since i have basically been in a fever induced state of dementia for the past two weeks and i refuse to go to the doctor. NO MOM I DO NOT NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR I AM DRINKING VINEGAR I READ IT ON THE INTERNET.

my mom brought me some gefilte fish. happy rosh hashana. is that even supposed to be two words? WHO KNOWS.

my mom was called my dad a nazi. YEAH DAD I HEARD YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN THE HOLOCAUST. i said. I HEARD IT ON THE STREET. i said. while making exaggerated head nods toward my mom. hahahahah i am so fucking hilarious. way to use comic relief to break the tension of your mom calling your dad anti semitic. oh my god i turn into such a fucking comedian around my parents you would think i was the middle child or something.

then i yelled at my dad for opening his umbrella in the house. OH MY GOD BAD LUCK BAD LUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??? my dad totally called me out on that one. oh yeah like you really care if i open my umbrella in the house. oh my god i guess it turns out my dad actually does know me after all.

then they left and i was like OH YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY YOU SHOULD STAY WE COULD DO FACIALS OR SOMETHING.

i really have no idea why i do not have my own sitcom by now.
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